Digital Press Goes to Chi-Town Classic

September 14th, 2002

Ah, Chi-Town Classic. This annual event brings the hobby's most celebrated and hardcore gamers and collectors together. Here, the back of John Greve's head and Rich "Goodwill Hunter" Bubik examine Tim "Sniderman" Snider's Venture II game. No purchases were made despite very slick sales pitch. Russ "Slapdash" Perry (right) discusses the finer points of DVD porn to Adam "Buyatari" Harvey... right there in front of Adam's fiancee! Amazingly, no gamers were harmed in the filming of this event.
All kinds different people come to the Chi-Town Classic, and this year was no exception. (left to right) Rich Bubik, John Greve, Jeff Daniels, Dan Blitz (in hat), and John Harvey (in stylish backpack). They're talking games, folks. You should have been there. You'll notice the "guy in the hat" sitting down a lot. There's a reason for that, but it's best not to discuss incontinence issues in a video gaming forum, I was told. Also I don't know who's ass that is so please don't email me trying to find out.
Everyone stands around waiting for something important to happen... ... but what they don't realize is that host Sean "Sean Kelly" Kelly has much better things to do with his time than organize "events". There were, however, several strippers and a goat named "Pete".
If you turn your head sideways you'll realize this is not an optical illusion but rather a lazy effort on the page designer's part! Also note the River Patrol cartridge callously screwed into the display simply for shock value. Sean's garage. When questioned about the wear-and-tear on his automobile, Sean replied "what?".
A bunch of gamers try to think of something clever to say to avoid what could be a very uncomfortable situation indeed: Joe "digitalpress" Santulli and "Pete" seem to be having some fun just under the watchful camera's eye. As you can see, video was being shot. Look for it at your local amateur adult shop. This fine young couple were named "king and queen" of the show! No, the king's head is not disproportionate to the rest of his body as it may seem, we've taken the liberty of Photoshopping it to an immense, bulbous mass to make you laugh. The girl is cute though, eh?


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