| As of mid-to-late 2001, I've decided that I no longer
see myself as a "content provider" within the retro-gaming hobby.
I plan to phase myself out of that aspect of the hobby over time,
slowly reducing myself to "a guy that plays old games".
I no longer think of "Digital Archaeology" as my primary hobby.
Indeed, retro-gaming in general has begun to become merely one
of many hobbies I have. I plan to become involved with any of my half
a dozen hobbies only as the mood strikes me, from now on. And even
then, only if I feel I can easily spare the disposable time that any hobby
requires.
The way I see it, there is a fine line between a hobby and
an obsession. I think the difference between them can be
summed up very simply... You enjoy a
hobby. A hobby rewards you, refreshes you. It
is a healthy way to spend your time. If you are not enjoying
what you are doing, I think you owe it to yourself to
stop and to reflect; to smell the roses as it
were. I think you owe it to yourself to find
something you will actually enjoy, and to spend
your free time that way.
Some of the immediate results of this change in thinking is
as follows:
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My two retro-gaming web sites will stay up, but I don't feel obligated
to spend much free time updating them. (Even assuming I have
any, which is doubtful lately?) If and when the mood strikes me,
I will do something new. If the mood never strikes me, "Oh well, that's life".
Unpaid volunteers have the right to stop volunteering.
-
I plan to keep updating my existing game system entries in the
"Digital Press Collectors Guide"
as time and motivation allows, primarily because that is not a high-stress,
fast-paced, continually high-maintenance task.
-
My recently-announced projects regarding the creation and sale of Multicarts
for the Bally Astrocade system and the Emerson Arcadia 2001 system
are going to continue as planned.
But I've written
a lengthy FAQ on that subject, setting strict limits on what I expect
to get from customers, and what they can expect to get from me.
-
I was considering making a Multicart for the Commodore VIC-20 at
one time. I've decided not to pursue it.
-
From now on, my hardware projects will remain inhouse. Only a few friends
will likely ever see them. (I enjoy making things. I somewhat enjoy showing
them to a close inner circle. Public distribution is just not enjoyable.)
-
I decided that a cancellation notice was long overdue on the
VIC-20 CD Project, so I made that official.
-
I plan to keep updating my cart rarity lists -- mainly because
they don't take up much time, and there is almost
never anything new to report. The cart list is pretty darned
good right now, thanks to years of on-going effort.
-
I am not seekings out new
interviews,
but I'll consider putting new info online if and when I find the time to.
-
If new cartridges are offered to me on an archiving loan, I'll try to accomodate
that as best I can, as always.
-
Although I have no interest
in tape
archiving myself, I've put up links to other people that are involved
with that.
-
In the past, I had vaguely considered doing a whole series of "Digital
Archaeology" efforts, one after the other, for more of these
obscure old video game systems. That idea died a gruesome death, recently.
Too many other cool and enjoyable hobbies are begging me to spend
more time with them instead, so I'm not doing any
more systems.
-
Other projects are being either altered or eliminated as my circumstances
change, and as the mood suits me.
Some of the things leading up to my decision to scale back or "downsize"
my involvement with this hobby are...
-
I have already accomplished everything that I had originally set out
to do, and then some...
-
I've done a significant amount of work that has helped bring back two
old computers (Commodore VIC-20 and Bally Astrocade) and two old game consoles
(Emerson Arcadia 2001 and AdventureVision).
-
I wrote a detailed FAQ for the VIC, and many other technical texts for
that system. I showed how to make an archival duplicator from a
datasette. I digitally archived half of the VIC's game
cartridge ROM library by myself. I made the best
VIC cart lists, rating both gameplay and cart
rarity. I ended up writing the detailed cartridge
software library listings for the VIC in the "Digital Press Collectors
Guide" version six. And more.
-
I digitally archived two thirds of the Emerson's cartridge software ROM image
library by myself. I helped the MESS emulation authors get a real
system, to improve Paul Robson's stand-alone software emulator. I wrote
an improved version of the FAQ. I made detailed cart lists. I confirmed
that the MPT-03 and the Palladium families of software would run
on Emerson hardware, once you adapted their pinouts. And the latest "Digital
Press Collectors Guide" section on the Emerson was written by you-know-who.
I made the only Multicart for the Emerson system, which includes every game
available on one cart. And I did more.
-
I helped Adam Trionfo and Michael White to archive and document the
cartridge software library for the Bally Astrocade. I helped Mike White to
have a supply of re-designed PC boards, so he could continue
his "Hozer Video"-like single cartridge-making service. I
helped out with a preliminary list of cassette tape games, for others to
expand on later. I made the only Multicart for the Astrocade, which
includes all of the games that have been archived, including most of
the official Bally and third-party cartridges. And more.
-
I even digitally archived three of the four known AdventureVision carts,
for play on modern emulators.
-
Money. My primary focus from now on has to be keeping a roof over my head
and all of my bills paid. Period.
-
Lack of time. Years ago, I felt like I had many hours of free
time every day. From now on, I intend to be very careful about how I categorize
what is disposable time; none of us are going to live forever. I
am just not willing to continue the grueling pace of the past,
or my past single-minded devotion to any single hobby. I want a more balanced
life. I want to sit down and watch television once in awhile, and
not feel compelled to "work" all the time. I want to be able to make
choices with my free time, instead of blindly assuming it has to be spent
a certain way.
-
Lack of time, part two. I have literally dozens of projects
that I'm supposed to be working on for members of my family. These have gone
neglected for years. I also have literally about two hundred major and
minor projects that I've wanted to do, that I currently have listed
on my own personal "to do" lists. I pushed all of that aside, before,
and just focused on Digital Archaeology. Now it is time that they all
had their proper turn.
-
Lack of time, part three. I've helped to archive what seems like
eight zillion neat old games, and yet I never find the time to
play any of them myself. (There is something seriously wrong with that
picture?)
-
High pressure versus low rewards. Because of the relative obscurity
of the subject matter, very few people will care about retro-gaming. Those
that do care are greatly outnumbered by those that think you have a screw
loose for wanting to be involved in it in the first place? Over time
that creates friction and wears one down. About the bazillionth time you
try to explain "why" to someone outside the hobby, you have to start wondering
yourself?
-
Spreading myself thin and burning out. Most of my other hobbies were
neglected completely during the years I spent working on Digital
Archaeology: 1994 through 2001 (with a year's break around 1999.)
When I began as a retro-gaming content provider of sorts, I had
one major focus; Digital Archaeology for the Commodore VIC-20. That has changed
over the years. I eventually added two other old game systems
to my self-imposed repertoire; the
Emerson Arcadia 2001 and
the Bally Astrocade. I did quite a bit of work on all three of those systems,
over the years. (I even did a bit of archiving on the AdventureVision
system in my "spare" time from these other three systems.) This has
heavily become slanted more towards being an unpaid job than a hobby that
entertains me?!
-
Feeling like I was getting kicked in the teeth, instead of being rewarded
for trying to be kind to others. This is a relatively new feeling, but one
that appears to be widespread throughout "content providers" within this
hobby...
On killing the goose that lays golden eggs
Nothing happens in a vacuum. Cause preceeds effect. You get
what you pay for....
I have been ultra sensitive towards this whole "pressure versus motivation"
and "workload versus rewards" thing, ever since a giant fiasco that happened
on "rec.games.video.classic"
in mid-July 2001 regarding "CGE 2001" homebrew projects. I was trying
very hard to rekindle some enthusiasm towards gaming,
at that point in my life. I had hoped my enthusiasm
would hold up at least long enough for me to clear off
a significant part of my retro-gaming "to do" list.
You
can read all about it for yourself on rec.games.video.classic, but suffice
it to say that as a result of the things said there, a number of we homebrew
"content providers" felt like we had been attacked by very ungrateful
"consumers". I likened it to the old parable warning people
not to throw pearls before swine; the pigs would
respond inappropriately.
That first bit of trouble resulted in the
very
public withdrawal of at least one Atari 2600 game ("Venture II") that
had formerly been announced as a CGE exclusive. The person got nothing but
grief for his efforts, instead of pleasure.
The things that were said publicly, caused much unrest and hard
feelings among we homebrew folks. It was clear to many of us that certain
consumers had no empathy at all for us, and just saw us as some type of "Internet
Elves (tm)".
I found this all to be sad and uncalled for, and at least a little bit shocking?
I tried to tell people that they were saying the
homebrewer's equivalent of "Let them eat cake" and that it would hurt
them. I tried to get people to show empathy. I got a general response
of apathy and selfishness. I am sure that the death of a number
of potential retro-gaming projects happened quietly, along with the
withdrawal? After all, volunteers don't have to formally resign, they just
quit showing up.
Just when I recuperated from that initial attack, it
began
to repeat itself on RGVC at regular intervals. I finally felt I had
to simply stop reading Usenet postings to try to sheild my sensitive
eyes from the stressful or even hateful things being said? So I quit
reading Usenet newsgroups, in a conscious effort to keep my enthusiasm
going as long as I possibly could. It wouldn't solve the
real problem; I knew that. But I hoped to bury my
head in the sands, and be reminded of it less.
Just when I thought THAT had solved the problem, my own web site's hosts
took it upon themselves to inaugurate a new editorial feature they were trying
out. It
attacked content providers more vigorously than ever before. ("Digital
Press" first took them to task for it, as did Andrew Davie and others.) You
can read all about it for yourself on the
"ClassicGaming.com"
forums if you care to? Suffice it to say, a lot of people got
very emotional about all this.
One homebrewer publicly announced he'd have second thoughts about ever doing
another game project, outside of his inner circle of friends? Many others
hinted loosely about giving serious thought to cancelling any future
gaming projects. (And this was what was being said in public. You
can perhaps imagine what was being said between us, in
private?)
Keep in mind that throughout this process, I was trying hard to
combat my own natural burn-out, after having worked hard for years on a number
of obscure machines. This abuse was not healing my wounds, it was
rubbing salt in them! The idea that a lot of my peers had most
likely quietly "resigned" their voluteer positions, made it
that much sadder.
Eventually, I lost the motivation battle.
Try as I might to prevent it, some
tiny little thing inside me eventually wore out, broke,
and quietly gave up the ghost.
I just don't feel the same about all this stuff any more?
I'd rather just play the games, and skip all the other
drama.
Between feeling this way, having time and money
troubles, needing to get other long-delayed personal projects finished,
and being strongly attracted to my many other hobbies, I am sure that
my days as a "content provider" are numbered.
I am not saying any of this to be mean. This is not
meant as "punishment". I don't want to feel this way, but
I do. I'm just accepting it and adjusting my life accordingly.
Please do NOT try to guilt-trip me into changing my mind!
Use that energy instead to defend the next person you
see who is doing a lot for you, and your continued enjoyment
of this hobby. |