Gang Wars


Review by Matt Paprocki



Graphics: 4

Sound: 6.5

Gameplay: 4

Overall: 5

It's hard to believe that Alpha, the company that would later bring us some decent Neo Geo games, started off with games like this. Just about everything goes wrong for the designers here and there are so many hilariously stupid lines of dialogue, you just may come out feeling somewhat better about the overall experience.

There's a chick and she's been kidnapped. Honestly, if you sat down at a design meeting and someone tells the team that this is the storyline that has been chosen, should they be allowed to keep their jobs? Anyway, 2-players can take on the clichéd array of baddies (in this case, supposed gang members) through 6 stages of non-stop brawling action.....that has been done better 1,500 times.

If the pathetically animated and drawn main characters weren't enough, the enemies will have you on the floor of the arcade in tears. The final boss looks stoned in every cinema he's in and politely asks "How are you doing?" before the final battle, which never happens by the way. Yes, you never do get to fight the gangs leader, he simply appears at the end and gives up the girl. Bad, bad, design move. Everything is made worse by the not only campy dialogue, but horribly digitized late-80's voice acting that you simply have to hear for yourself.

The gameplay suffers from severely inconsistent controls, pitiful hit detection, and an overall sloppy feeling. Weapons are useless the majority of the time (except for the oh-too-brief encounter with the flame thrower, that's cool) since they leave you wide open to be blasted in the face by an enemy. You have the standard array of punches and kicks, but it must be noted that by pressing 2 buttons together, you can jab any one of the poor suckers right in the "lower abdominal area." Ouch.

Just like any really bad movie, there are bound to be fans of this game if you look hard enough. It's a game you may just play a few times, if only to draw someone else to it. There's a ton of camp value to be had and it shouldn't give you too much trouble to beat, if you can understand the unintentional humor. Those who can't should never even approach the machine.


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Last updated: Sunday, January 30, 2005 05:40 PM