This one is entitled "Review of Ecco the Dolphin for
Dreamcast, by a panel of Yoda, Karl from SlingBlade, and Life with Louie's
Dad, Andy Anderson".
SlingBlade: "mmmf. That fish is pretty. Mmmmff. Can't much
get him to do nuthin"
"You call this a GAME?! It's impossible! You want a good game? Back
when I was in the WAR we played fun games! Old Maid! Parcheesie! And War!
Now THAT's a game!"
Yoda: "no! Not impossible! Only in your mind is it!
"mmmf. Well. I guess'n I could try to talk tuh that there big
Yoda: "No! There is no try! Only do, or do not."
"Why you !@#$#@@@#$@!@ fish you !@#$# controller !@#$#!!""
SlingBlade: "mmmf.. You ought not talk like that. Wish'n I had
some of them french fried taters. Mmmmf"
Yoda: "difficult to use, this Dreamcast pad is. Control it,
only a true Jedi can"
" (gasp!) Dreeeem-cast controlllll-er?! I used to drive a TANK! This
is for little girlies! Where's the torpedoes button? When I was in the
WAR, I used to ride on sharks with a grenade in my shorts, then eat 'em
for breakfast the next day! Where's the machine gun in this game?!"
Yoda: "your weapons .. you will not need them. Use the
"mmmf. Lookee that great big'un there. Big fish. White. Mmmmf. Ought
not bite Ecco like that!"
Yoda: "I see... a vision .. of people in pain ... suffering ..
they are playing THIS GAME! Who created this?! Ahh... Appaloosa .. yes,
Appaloosa from Hungary."
"Hungary? They're good people, they're good people! Met a couple
hunkies in the WAR. Turned out to be MY BEST FRIENDS! (slams table). Lost
some blood saving those people!"
SlingBlade: "mmmf. Ah'm hungary. Got any o' them french fried
Yoda: "water is murky ... difficult to see .. always in motion
is this dolphin. To go Up, how do I?"
SlingBlade: "mmmmf. Mebbe press this way"
"Move over, soldier, let a VETERAN give it a try! Stand still you
!@#$# sea monster! Ahh, yeahhhhh ... Yeahhh... that's the ticket ... it
just takes some practice & some GOOD OLD-FASHIONED ELBOW GREASE....
Yoda: "On the Title Screen demo, you are. Not controlling
anything, you are not!"
SlingBlade: "ah'd give this game a 10 fer bein' pretty. Love
that dolphin, mmmmf"
"HAW HAW HAW, that big shark ate the fish whole! HAW HAW HAW, let's
do it again!"
SlingBlade: "mmmmf! Ought not hurt that pretty fish like
Yoda: "Hey! My lightsaber, unhand it you retard!"
Andy Anderson: "HAW HAW HAW , let's kill the the dolphin
again! HAW HAW HAW.. HEY you turncoat , whaddaya think yer doing with that
SlingBlade: "I'm fixin to kill you, I guess. Mmmmf"
"URK! ... "
Yoda: "Pain. Suffering. This is the path of this Ecco