Deep Blue


Review by Matt Paprocki



Graphics: 2

Sound: 3

Gameplay: 1

Overall: 1

Bad, awful, putrid, horrid, ugly, sad, poor, disastrous, shameful, disgusting, evil, wrong, impractical, impossible, junky, unbearable, unjustified, inescapable, broken, strange, queer, reeking, objectionable, below par, imprudent, inadequate, lacking, deficient, incompetent, frustrating, weak, crappy, cruel, feeble, dull, dumb, unpleasant, wretched, detestable, ghastly, rotten, disgusting, embarrassing, sloppy, depressive, wrecked, discouraging, cheap, distasteful, impossible, silly, asinine, indecent, foul, tired, and shallow, are just a few words to describe my feelings for Deep Blue on the Turbo Grafx-16. Quite possibly, the worst shooter ever.

Since I'm out of adjectives, I'll get right to the point. Deep Blue has you piloting a worthless fish-like submarine thing through the biggest school of fish the world has ever seen. These things come at your ship so fast and in such high numbers, there is absolutely no way around it: Your going to die. Even if you can manage to get fully powered up (a small miracle in and of itself), you will still die. Cease to exist, become one with the Earth, grow wings, go 6 feet under, take your last breath, become worm foo.... ah, the hell with it.

The game is presented in wide screen for some unknown reason. It's certainty not cinematic in anyway, so this serves as yet another point going against the game. Your sorry excuse for a ship is laughable and just plain poorly designed. If you pause the game, you might catch a glimpse of the enemy before they kill you. Rest assured, they look even worse than your ship. Do I even have to talk about the sound? Didn't think so. 

This review is a warning, a warning to the entire world. Never, ever, buy the game titled "Deep Blue" for the TurboGrafx-16. I don't care if you collect games for this console or just curious, this game is a plague. Hell, it wouldn't surprise me if someone opened a copy of this game somewhere an did release the plague. If there's only one positive thing to say in this review, it is this: This game never had a sequel. Lets all pray that is never does.


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Last updated: Wednesday, December 10, 2003 02:21 PM