Battle Chess


Review by Cleatis

Data East

Board Game





If I had a nickel for every time I’ve heard a co-worker express their fond memories of playing Battle Chess...I'd have a bunch of nickels. So when I managed to get a hold of a cart after all the good words, I'll admit, I was more than a little excited to play it for the first time.

The playing area is a chessboard (who’d of guessed…) with your typical chess pieces, with the exception of your Night; he isn’t mounted on a horse.

The game play consists of you selecting the piece you wish to move by way of highlighting. You then select where you wish to move the piece. The piece comes to life and walks across the board. The most amusing piece to watch is the Queen and her supermodel switch of the hips with every step. Now if you don't already know the rules of chess then this game is no reason to learn.

Assuming you have moved to take an opponents piece, the pieces will disappear…and reappear in a battle scenario. They battle to the death (you just sit back and watch the show), you always know who will win because it follows the rules of chess.

If you happen to be a fan of chess then this game offers you very little. It’s a far cry from the brain battle you are used to on a regular chessboard. While normal chess consists of “opening tricks, psychological attacks, rubbish and the Caro Kann”, Battle Chess consists of mild humor and slow execution. After the first slow-motion move I knew I'd never be able to handle the game. It’s so amazingly slow that I find it hard to believe that anyone would enjoy playing it. I’m all about enjoying a slow game but not this slow. (Is there an award for repeating "slow" 4 times in the same thought?) It can take upwards of 30 seconds for the game to execute a single move. I ask myself if watching the less than impressive battles is worth spending so much time watching the pieces walk across the board. With the exception of the battle scenes, the game offers nothing over the regular board game. After your first game I just don’t know what there is to amuse you. Now I very rarely say this but perhaps the versions on other platforms are better but even if they are, I still fail to even have the slightest bit of interest in playing this game more than once. This is one game I refuse to recommend to anyone. If Battle Chess is Pepsi then normal chess is Coke, “You can’t beat the real thing.”


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Last updated: Friday, February 25, 2005 07:41 AM