That's too much, Ralph! A shotgun? All I can say is that would be awesome.

The only urban legend that I remember is... ???

I called Nintendo's 800 number (remember how you could just talk to them about games?) and told them that I was playing Super Mario Bros. and the Turtle jumped out of the screen and bit me in the dick. (maybe that would qualify as an urban legend that you wouldn't want to happen?)

Then again, I called up Snapple from work and told them that I swallowed a syringe that was in one of their drinks.